Hilarious online dating stories

" I sent back something about how I would definitely take the pizza but pass on the anal, and he replied with, "as long as i can suck your toes, we're golden." Barf.I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete 180.

He asked where I worked because I looked familiar...

He said I looked like a girl from an amateur porn video. He then asked if he could jerk off while we continued our normal conversation.

This was around 18 months ago, and he still messages me from time to time with a "hey," or my favourite, "I miss you." Met a guy who seemed to be decent.

We went to see a movie, and he kept talking about my feet — how "beautiful and sexy" he thought they were. " Later, during the movie, he asked if he could suck on my toes. I excused myself to go to the restroom and just walked straight out the door and left him in the theater.

This only irritated me because he didn't really ask, he just decided.

But the best part of the night was right before I went to bed (he was staying on the couch): He asked me if I should change my pad.

He then started reeling off names of people I'm friends with on Facebook, even though I hadn't told him my last name and we weren't Facebook friends!

I was incredibly freaked out and threatened to call the police, which scared him off.

I dodged a bullet and will never trust dating online again. We began messaging, and he seemed like a nice person, so we exchanged numbers.

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