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"Ask yourself: How could you have been healthier, more constructive and more mentally, spiritually and sexually aware and available? "If you don't get this down now, you'll experience similar issues in your next relationship."4. In some cases, a separation may be best if your morals or religion tell you divorce is a bad idea, says certified family law specialist Erin M. "With a legal separation, you divide up property, debts and assets, as well as deal with child custody, visitation and child and spousal support—the business end of a marriage—without dissolving the union," she says.5.
What would it take to heal the wounds of this marriage? " While some issues—like poor communication and needing more affection—are fixable, others—like violence or emotional abuse—aren't.6. If your relationship issues are fixable, try marital therapy while you're separated, says Rosenberg.
It goes more quickly and amicably when both parties are ready to divorce.2. If you aren't completely sure, consider separation, advises Cari Andreani from Jacksonville, FL.
The main question I asked myself was, 'Would life without my husband be better?
' I've never doubted my decision and am a lot happier now."7. Separation can give couples a taste for what divorce would be like—and, in some cases, scare them into working things out, says Andreani.
"If you have a bonus-driven job, consider starting an action for divorce to set a cut-off date for finances," suggests Newman.
"However, if your spouse's job is bonus driven, you may want to separate and not file for divorce." That way, you'd still be entitled to those assets.10. Another practicality to consider: how you'll be able to obtain health care if you're on your spouse's plan.
"Separation made me realize that I wanted my husband and family and I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work," she says.
Now married 16 years ("and counting," she says), she and her husband were able to move past their issues.
Since a separation means that, legally, you and your husband are still married and eligible for each other's medical insurance, avoid a full-on divorce if "one party has poor health, an expensive pre-existing health condition or current illness like cancer," Childs says.
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